Underwhelmed and sad?

I’ve just been sat catching up on a couple of articles and blogs and they all seemed to cover the same theme of feeling underwhelmed and sad.  Two in particular stuck out for me.

This article (‘A teacher speaks out’) popped up on my Facebook timeline about a week ago and I’ve finally found the time to read it. A young and (previously) enthusiastic teacher talks of some of the difficulties of our profession and sounds very similar to myself a couple of years ago.  I love teaching, I love working with teenagers and I love trying to help them through the tough times in their lives. But shortly after we got married, I was feeling the strain of having been in school for 5 years (4 as a teacher) and felt to need to do something about it.  I couldn’t think about leaving a job that I enjoy so much and we were ready to think about having a family so the 9 month break from work seemed an ideal way to give me a chance to redress my working world.

And then I read ‘Working mum guilt’ from Mummy Says and the sadness and the guilt that she spoke of are funny concepts to me.  It probably ties in with how I feel about teaching and also, how the world of teaching works. An average working day for me is crazy busy (‘A day in the life of me’) and I don’t often get a chance to stop and think about me and my life during the day. So whilst I sometimes stop and wonder what Sprog is up to at nursery or with our lovely mum’s, it’s rare that I feel sad for not spending the time with him.  Don’t get me wrong, I do miss him, but it’s never an overwhelming feeling which distracts me from work as I simply don’t have time.

And I am so looking forward to having the weekend with him….after his nap, we’re off to the local Sheep Fair. We’ve never been before but he’s just starting to get the hang of some animal noises so I am super excited to see what he can manage!  After I’ve done my marking this evening, I may still have enough energy to blog about it!

My 9 months away from work gave me a chance to be me, learn to be mama and take a step back from the endless paper trial and journey of improvement for me and my students. It gave me a chance when I returned to be me again, not just mama, and to get back to challenging students to be the best that they can be.  It turns out that some of the things that I needed a break from were actually some of the things that I couldn’t wait to return to.  I haven’t cracked the workload, don’t know that I ever will… starting to mark a pile of 30 books at 8.00 p.m. is not fun but when I finish work on a Friday, I am not going to let it affect my time with Sprog at the weekends.  So what to wear to a Sheep Fair?!

Have a lovely weekend everyone x

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