Deeds not words

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‘Deeds not words’ is of course takes from Emmeline Pankhurst and the Suffragettes. Being a History teacher, these are some of my utter heroines and after watching the film Suffragette at the cinema last week I was inspired by their strength and determination in the face of great adversity. They lost so greatly and sacrificed so much to make life better for the generations to come which includes me. Through their actions they lost family and friends, their dignity was taken from them and Emily Davison even lost her life for the cause.  They wanted women to be equal to men, they wanted fairness and most simply they wanted to be able to vote. How would they feel about how women find themselves now?

Am I making the most of it of the world that they created for me?!

I feel stuck ‘in limbo’ and have done for some time. I love being Mama and being able to watch Sprog grow and learn. I am so lucky to be able to spend time with him, even if it is only a few days every couple of months. (I did also work at least 25 hours during my half term week off!)

I love teaching. The 6 hours days that I spend with the girls I teach are wonderful. I enjoy so much the time where I support, challenge and help them to learn new things and overcome difficulties. Just this week along with teaching history, I’ve also taught my year 9s the saying “the straw that broke the camel’s back“… Life changing stuff! Seriously, I am in a position to make a difference and that is a privilege.

However, it also takes so much from me. “Deeds not words” is why I haven’t written on this blog much recently. I have been surviving at work by ensuring that every little thing I do professionally is good. I need to be beyond reproach and show that I am worth it. “Deeds not words” leaves me feeling further from the profession that I loved because I find elements of my work environment a challenge follow my change of school. I have however, recently found someone who inspires and supports me and she gives me get strength to move forward.

“Deeds not words” inspires me to make positive changes in my life to be brave enough to create some of the adaptations that I wish to see. I still can’t express them here as I don’t know what form they’ll take, if they ever do. As of a discussion at the end of the week at work, I’m not sure what shape that future holds at all. For the first time in 3 years someone spoke to me like a professional who still has career options in front of them and not as someone who’s had a baby and now has few options.

I’m not sure that I’m brave enough to make changes happen as chances are they would be radical changes. I don’t remember ever taking a real ‘risk’ with the course of my life. It’s always been meticulously planned out, by me. I’ve never taken a risk that I don’t know whether it will pay off.

Can I be brave enough? Can I find it in myself to take that risk like the Suffragettes did?

Mama-andmore
Mummascribbles</div

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11 thoughts on “Deeds not words

  1. I know where you are coming from and again I will say it- supply supply supply!
    It makes me sad that after all of their hard work all those years ago, us women are now faced with a lack of choice again. I wrote a post a while back about my resentment for it all. The fact that now, the fact women work actually leaves us that want to be home with our children with a tough choice. We are stuck in a world now that means we are forced to work or stay home and not have enough money for anything other than your mortgage. I hope you find the strength to do what makes you happy, for without that then nothing else really matters does it. xxx #SundayStars

  2. Popping over from #twinklytuesday! I’m a drama teacher currently working three days after going back from mat leave. I completely identified when you wrote “For the first time in 3 years someone spoke to me like a professional who still has career options in front of them and not as someone who’s had a baby and now has few options.” I had a conversation with my best friend and colleague today about my future in school and felt very similar. Like I want to stay as “just a teacher” until I’ve had (hopefully) a second baby and then when they are a bit older, think about my career and hopefully do something to challenge myself in my professional life. I hope you are brave enough and I can’t wait to hear about it. Good luck xxx

    • Thank you lovely. My option in school really excites me actually and it’s made the move of school worth it because I’m being helped along a path which wasn’t open to me at the old place

  3. YES — I don’t know what it is but DO IT. Take that leap of faith and just do it. No one ever regrets trying things… if it doesn’t work, learn from it and move on. You’re far more likely to regret *not* doing it. When I left a full time career to go freelance I was terrified of the change and the unknown but it ended up being the best decision ever 🙂 Thanks so much for linking up to #TwinklyTuesday xx

  4. This is a really inspiring post. I think I am probably failing those women in the life I now lead. I am so pleased that you have found someone who can support you and your goals. And I hope that your plans for the future work out. Caro is right, you should take that leap of faith. You never know where it might lead you. Thanks for linking up to #SundaysStars. I am sorry that it has taken me so long to comment. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

    • O thanks lovely, i have been making plans but they need to go on hold until ive marked my mock exams now. The route thats scariest is the one i know least about… i know i have a good idea, not entirely sure how to make it happen but im working on it. I have backed myself by buying my own #BML16 ticket to make sure that i have the incentive to push myself

  5. I think we all feel like this as mums, especially with young children. There are not enough hours in the day and not enough hours at night (for sleeping). I think go for the change because it sounds like you need it. I’m sure whatever you have in your sights will lead you somewhere very exciting 🙂 xx

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