Weigh in #12

Hmmphh…

Firstly, after posting last week about how stuck I felt in my rut, I had so much support and so many people saying how they felt a similar cycle to me and it at least showed me that I wasn’t alone.  At best, your comments spurred me on to try and break the cycle.

After 4 days totally back on plan with Slimming World, I was hoping for a loss at least. And until today I had been feeling better but after lunch a really bloated feeling set in and when I got home from work my stomach had expanded to the point of looking pregnant again 😦

I held my nerve and went to weigh in, I lost 1/2lb.

I couldn’t work out how I felt about it.

I had been looking at my daily positives with my Slimpod and recording them on the Slimpod group on Facebook.

I had eaten well, properly, without slip up. I realised that I would have liked more than that as a loss and I was quite disappointed.

I’ve just been to the shop on the way home. I haven’t binged out completely… I have had a chocolatey treat but I’ve also bought fruity treats for tomorrow.

Honestly, I’m a bit gutted.

But tomorrow, I shall get on with and get back to it all.

Why I stress and comfort eat

The reasons why people over eat, stress eat, comfort eat are wide and varied. I can’t speak for anyone else but I do know why I do it.

I recently wore an outfit that literally transported me back a whole 12 months and as a result has really hurt my mentality and head space and much more than I expected.

I’d known that over the last 2 or 3 weeks, my weight had been creeping up, and not particularly slowly at that. I also know why but I’ve not been able to break my cycle. The amount of chocolate around has not helped but I know that when I’m in the right place, that doesn’t matter I can ignore the bad choices and still be ‘good’.

I have a cycle of eating and healthiness. This cycle normally lasts around a month (not coinciding with the ‘other’ monthly cycle) and has a very structured routine.  You’d think that knowing this would make it easier, but I just can’t break stages 2 and 3!

Stage one
I eat lots of fruit and veg, I can say no to the chocolate, sweets and cakes and I manage to get some exercise in. During this period, I am calm and relatively stress free at work. I don’t take much home and that allows me time to chill out in the evenings, to watch TV, and to sleep well.

It means that I prepare a good breakfast, a good lunch to take to work and enjoy cooking our dinners. During this stage, I loose weight.

Stage two

I begin to feel behind at work which leads to me eating more; at this stage it’s not necessarily ‘naughty’ food but just ‘more’.  As I get more stressed out by the lack of time to do marking and planning, I eat more.

As a result, I feel horrible so I eat more to give me energy.  I feel tired, so I eat more. During this stage, I stop loosing weight and maybe put on a pound.

Stage three

I work harder, bring more marking home, work at the weekend’s to get on top of everything and feel like a terrible mother for not being able to spend as much time as I want with Sprog. I feel bad for wanting to work and that my job means that I have to work at home as well as during the day.

I set my alarm for silly o’clock (normally around 5.30 a.m.) so that I can work before the boys get up.  I sleep less as I’m worrying about everything, I’m more tired.  Guess what?! I eat to compensate for this. It’s at this point that I turn to the naughties… I eat rubbish, drink more caffeine and feel even worse! During this stage, I gain weight.

Stage four

I feel sluggish, lethargic and totally rubbish. I start to have hissy fits about doing marking and stop doing as much. I refuse to bring work home and I start to think more about what I’m eating.

This all means that I start to relax more, sleep better and feel more able to deal with everything. During this stage, I begin loosing weight again.

Where am I now?

I find myself very much stuck at the moment. Before the Easter holidays, I was in Stage three and struggling to get through each day.  Now, I’ve moved in stage four with the work load and am just refusing to do any but I can’t shift the eating mentality.

I have started listening to my SlimPod again as I’d stopped doing that when I was super tired before the holidays… I know, it doesn’t make sense to stop doing something that helps when you need it most. I’m going to be making more of an effort to hit my step count each day and I’m just about to plan the food shopping.

I know that the biggest factor making me unhappy and making me want to eat is work.  I don’t know how to tackle that one yet.  I don’t want to look back at Sprog’s early years when we’re older and just remember being unhappy with how I felt and looked, I want to be able to look back and have felt good about myself but at the moment my self worth is pretty low.

  

Weekly weigh in #11

This week, I have been feeling so much better on the back of my 2 lb loss last week, much more confident – I even wore a dress to work today!

I’ve been really motivated this week too. I have been listening to the Slimpods for Thinking Slimmer now and then but I really need to get back to that more consistently now. I have been making sure that I walk to work more often and move more as well as managing a bike ride at the weekend and then this evening to Slimming World and back.

I am so pleased with how well I am managing the Dechox for BHF too.  I’ve only really wanted to cave in a few times. Today, I even bought chocolate treats for colleagues without buying any for myself or eating any of their chocolate! The sponsorship page is still open, and Hubby and I would really appreciate it.  I feel a little bad that our total is looking so measly at the moment, surely we can do better than £3…click here if you are feeling generous.

I also wore a top that to work yesterday that I bought when Sprog was about 4 months old and I was still looking pretty hefty! We don’t have a full length mirror at home at the moment so it wasn’t until I went to the loo that I noticed how loose it is now. My trusty work trousers are also looking much more flattering now. I couldn’t help but take a rubbish selfie to show off as this top was pretty tight when I bought it!

So, I headed to weigh in this evening, on my bike, in my super sexy hi-vis top feeling on top of the world thinking that I would have been able to loose weight.

Imagine my horror at a 1lb gain… I have literally no idea where that came from.  I haven’t eaten perfectly but I definitely thought I’d out-exercised the cake this week, apparently not!  I cannot claim lady bloat this time either.

So the plan is this – hit my 10,000 step goal every day, eat better/less, no booze.. fingers crossed!

Weekly weigh in… 9 and 10

This week saw a nice little loss of 2 lbs for me. I was pretty happy with this as I had gained 1lb last week. This gain seems to be a monthly pattern (which some ladies will understand completely) although for me it is an utterly new one and therefore my head is still battling against it and feeling rubbish when I do have that gain.

It did take me a few days to recover from the blip which is why it was only 2 lbs…I don’t normally say ‘only’ especially to 2 whole pounds but that’s really only 1 lb in 2 weeks!

I have been finding the Thinking Slimmer slimpods so helpful and the visualisation techniques are fab. I sometimes find myself sitting thinking about the shape I want to be at work!!

Today has been an ‘off plan’ day as we had INSET day and we always do a bring and share lunch which is awesome. I shall be back to it tomorrow!!

Weekly weigh in #8

I’m a tad late posting about my weight loss this week as Tuesday evening was parents evening so I didn’t get to a weigh in until this evening.

And for the first time in ages I wasn’t nervous as I drove to weigh in, I hadn’t even really thought about the actual number that the scale would show and was very calm.  I knew that this week my clothes were much more comfortable and that I had moved more and that I had eaten better. By better I don’t mean 100% Slimming World – I ate Jelly Babies and cake on Tuesday (parents evening!!) – but healthier choices.  I think the chocolate ban for lent has helped but I definitely feel that the Slimpod is helping to get my head in the right space.

The Slimpod is just such easy listening before I go to sleep every night and I think I’ve fallen asleep listening to it at least twice this week.  It has such great positive messages about creating the me that I want to see and I’ve definitely noticed that I’m snacking less and drinking more water.  I love the fact that I get daily emails to support me to stay focused and that they pop up during my day at work.

So anyway… this week’s results are in.  This week was a stonker (at last) with 2 1/2 lbs off!

Weekly weigh in #7

I’ve made a few changes in my world this week which I’m hoping will help me out for the few weeks. I’ve been really enjoying reading everyone else’s posts where we’re clubbing together and supporting each other with our health and fitness goals over the last 7 weeks and it’s great to see the progress that some people are making.  As you might know if you’ve been keeping up with me, I’ve been down and then up and then back down a bit to even out and be back to the same weight as just after Christmas! I felt like I’d lost my way a bit.

I’ve done 2 things to hopefully make a difference to me this week.

Firstly, after reading about how Mummy Melton is going I decided to investigate and then get started using Thinking Slimmer. Using this, I listen to a Slimpod every evening and I love the way it approaches weight loss without talking about inches and lbs but just by talking about how I want to look and feel.  I’m only 3 days in but I have noticed that I’m less likely to snack in the evenings after dinner already.  I listened to a hypnobirthing relaxation script when I was pregnant and that really helped to calm me down about the birth and this works in a similar way by talking to my subconscious so we’ll just have to wait and see the impact over the next few weeks.

Secondly, I’ve signed up to something crazy! Hubby and I are both terrible secret chocolate eaters. We both know that we do it, we both know that we aren’t truthful to the other one about how much chocolate we eat and we both eat it in secret from each other. So we had toyed with the idea of giving up chocolate for lent when I saw the British Heart Foundations Dechox advertised. The Dechox covers the whole of March so whilst lent starts tomorrow, the donations and sponsorship for the Dechox should see me though March and I fully intend to make it to the end! So here’s my fundraising page and I would love it if you would be able to donate even just a little bit.  My text donation code is MVST99 to 70070 and that will automatically donate £3 to my page for you!

I think this week the big change has been that I haven’t been obsessing over step counts or what food I’m eating but I have relaxed a bit. Now just to see if that makes a difference at the scales; I think I would honestly be fairly happy if I maintained this week.

…. the results are in and … I’ve put on 1/2 lb which I’m actually fine with. I know I’ve been less active but I just feel so much better in myself this week. Bring on a big loss next week!

Weekly weigh in #6

I rocked up at weigh in tonight feeling totally and utterly nervous as I lined up. Going to the weigh in I knew several things about this week; I had not hit my 10,000 step count for several days and that I had not stuck to any form of healthy eating really.

I had been struck by some pretty low self confidence in the last couple of weeks which has led me to feel completely exhausted and out of energy. I floated/dragged myself through my day at work on Monday as I crashed and burned! As a result, I haven’t even vaguely hit the magic step count since Friday.

Anyway, on to the positive news which is that I did manage to lose 1lb. Whoop! It’s taken away some of the damage of the last couple of weeks but it does only take me back to equal with the start of the year.

I set myself some targets last week. Now I clearly didn’t stick to the first one which was to do my steps.  Other than that, I have managed to start the 30 day ab challenge although I haven’t got very far. I have also been moisturising my lovely stretch marks and that has helped to ease some of the discomfort.

So the plan for the future, is that it is 7 weeks until the big Hen Do.  If I can manage it, I could lose 1lb a week and feel much better and more like myself by them. After surviving the lurgy and almost feeling like myself again, I feel ready to go again. I’m ready to go with looking after myself, with blogging and with getting my work sorted. Time to bring it on!

Finding things tough (weigh in #5)

I think we all have these phases, well at least I hope we do and I’m not the only mad fruit loop out there!

I spend my days with my eyes half closed, and my heart hanging. I feel a little bit like I’m in a permanent hangover but without the fun of the night before. That tired, lacklustre feeling that you are physically dragging yourself through each day.

The last few weeks have been chaotic and being the person that I am, I cannot let go of some things. Alongside my grannies death, there have been possible house moves (now not happening – this is the right decision and I am happy with this), trying to fix things around our house whilst more things break, thinking about the future of my career and family balance, and (excuse my language) a s**t load of marking to do too. Add in a good helping of snot, coughing and sleep disruption from Sprog and I’m understandably not feeling on top form. However, what frustrates me most about myself is that I know despite all of these things, I can stay healthy and look after myself at the same time as I’ve done it before. But at the moment, I can’t. I can’t say no to the chocolate, the sweets, the cake. I can’t stop myself from heading to the crisp cupboard as soon as I get in from work.

As soon as I’ve caved, I feel a terrible self loathing pass over me. At the moment, I am uncomfortable in my skin and my body. I am avoiding looking in the mirror at all costs.

I’ve just lost my spark, my mojo, my fizz!

Right now, I’m not even sure how I get it back. I thought I’d managed to give myself a stern talking to last night and then ‘boom’ I caved again! I’m finding it tough.

I didn’t really want to publish a weight watching post this week as it’s gone beyond trying to loose weight and I’ve dropped into somewhere much less happy than I was BUT I promised myself that this year I would hold myself accountable on my little blog.

My plan for this week is
1 – hit my 10,000 step goal every day.
2 – start the 30 day ab challenge again.
3 – remember to moisturise my tummy – my stretch marks were so itchy today that I nearly scratched through my skin.

Weekly weigh in #4

Right, I can kind of feel myself routing for the excuses this week rather than a list of things that I’ve done really well.

There is no real reason why this week should have been bad, I’ve just struggled to have the will power against the naughty foods. We’ve had friends round for dinner, lunch out with an old colleague, two inset day lunches where we did bring and share lunches. None of these were things that I couldn’t have managed sensibly, I just choose not to. Who could resist the delightful cheesecake made for us?  And it lasted both days!

I have been hooked on my Fitbit still and have done my 10,000 steps every day but one as I was totally knackered and just wanted to sleep. I’m finding that it’s a great goal to have as it often forces me to get off my bum and move a bit more during the day. I have also finished the steps off by walking round the house in the evening if I haven’t managed to do it earlier on. I think that is helping me along.

So the all important information is how I got in at weigh in. It was tight as to whether I was even going to make it as Sprog got sent home from nursery again today… Just an ear infection for now! So I put on a little bit. Oops.

Back to it from tomorrow morning. No more naughties and back to counting and recording everything on a food diary. Let’s get serious again xx

Weekly weigh in #2

*I drafted this post earlier today and as it is weigh in day thought I would still post it. However, I did not go to weigh in this evening due to a family event that arose. I wanted to post the draft anyway as it’s important to me that this year I hold myself accountable for my weight*

The week my jeans got a bit more comfortable!!! O yeah! So I don’t take measurements, maybe I should, but I rely upon my clothes to give me their honest opinion as to whether I’ve lost weight a lot of the time. And this week my jeans got more comfy! Whoop whoop!

I don’t know about you but I have varying levels of jeans in my wardrobe. Even from before Sprog there were different types – I’ve got my ‘skinny’ jeans which are both skinny in style and in requirements from me! I have the ‘normal’ jeans, for when I am a ‘normal’ size and feeling ‘normal’. Then I have ‘fat’ jeans. Slightly bigger for the days when I’m not feeling quite so slender. Then there were the Holy Grail… the ‘maternity’ jeans. Amazingly comfortable, bump band attached, whole body and stomach support but sadly only appropriate when preggers. Something that I left behind nearly 18 months ago.

So since Sprog, I rocked the maternity jeans until he was probably 3 or 4 months and then the roundness of my flabby belly was sadly lacking and didn’t hold up the band anymore. It was a sad day for me when I retired these bad boys to the attic until next time. Particularly as I still hadn’t made it down to the ‘fat’ jeans yet. Cue a mad shopping spree, Mother in tow to find anything that would fit, and a purchase of some lovely but quite bright, green jeggings!

Since Sprog was about a year I have been able to get into the ‘fat’ jeans although they’ve never really felt 100% comfortable, especially when sat down. The redistribution of flabby tum seems to get in the way. But this week… hope is on the horizon. Last time I tried on my ‘normal’ jeans they just about squeezed past my knees. Thighs were highly unlikely, as was my bum. I vaguely tempted to try them on but I think that might have to wait until next week, I’m not that hopeful yet.

This has been a pretty good week for me. I have eaten a vast amount of free foods. These lovely bliters help you to loose weight at the same time as making you feel satsified and more full. It basically means a lot of fruit and veg. And I have been better at snacking on them too rather than still turning to the crisps and biscuits for snacks.

*As I said, I didn’t make to weigh in, I may make it on Thursday. If not, my next update will be next Tuesday*